Daddy's little girl

I have known for a while that there is a strong “little girl” side to me- a part of me that needs a Daddy to watch over and protect me. Often times, when I get comfortable around Sir, I will slip into a younger, more free self where my voice gets a little bit higher, my eyes a little brighter, my smile a little bigger and my walk a little bouncier.

I can honestly say this was not something I chose, in fact it was something I fought against for a long time. In every relationship I had that was a least at little D/s, however, the traits of this little girl would sneak though.

I realize that this part of me, and that the Daddy part of Sir, are by no means the most mainstreams aspects of our relationship (though sometimes I wonder if we could be a bit more open about them in Japan), but the time we spend together as Daddy and Daddy’s little girl are really special to me.

Every time I wear a dress or skirt, eat candy (lollipops!), or wear that one pair of mary janes i have, I feel undeniably little-girl like. When Sir chooses my clothes or when he helps me shop for clothes, I can see His Dominance in action, yes, but I also feel like a girl whose Daddy is choosing what she should wear for her.

At the heart of it all, I feel small, young and malleable, and I love feeling that way. I adore feeling tiny, all wrapped up tight in Sir’s arms (and later in the clothes he chooses), and knowing that for that moment nothing can hurt me. In the same way, I love how my giggles and games bring smiles to His face, and how His worries always seem to vanish when He protects me in His arms.

Part of the reason why I love being His little girl is because I am helpless to what he wants- He is my Daddy, so I must do what He says. Not only does he care and provide for me, but he is bigger and stronger than me too. When He wants to fuck me, I don’t have a choice.

I like the idea of being Daddy’s little whore. Wearing frilly skirts, mary jane shoes, and skipping around with a smile on my face during the day like an innocent Daddy’s girl, but come night fall sucking His cock and begging Him to fuck me and use me. I love being forced to be dirty and sluty- the degradation of my innocent side into a complete and utter cock hungry whore whose desire can only be satiated by her Daddy’s cum is so.. hot to me.

I know that in reality I am not an innocent child, however for whatever reason, this does not matter. When it comes down to it, I know that Sir/Daddy will always do what is best for me. If He wants His little girl to drink His cum and take a long hard fuck or beating, then I know that I’ll love it.

[Via http://subordinateproperty.wordpress.com]

Flashback

Time for a flashback that I’m sure many readers will love.

Since the last 24 hours have been a “slow day” here, it’s time to tackle one of the items from my “Future Topics” page.  Today’s item: “How she had me humiliate myself to others one day to get out of chastity”. This is a true story.

Last month we traveled out of town to attend a kinky weekend event. There were workshops during the day about all sorts of things like bondage, CBT, medical play, role-play, kinky toys, etc. There were vendors with all sorts of fun sex and BDSM related wares and clothing. And after dinner the dungeons were open for play. People were dressed in all manners of fetishwear. It was a really fun weekend.

When we arrived I had been locked in the CB-3000 for several days. This was pretty early on in the “chastity era” of our relationship — just a few weeks before I started this blog. My wife/mistress/keyholder had an evil, wonderful, nasty plan for me for the first evening.

She said I could get unlocked and have an orgasm if I could find someone to unlock me. But there were a few further requirements.

First she helped me get crossdressed. I had a plaid dress with a big pink belt/bow, white hose, and shiny Mary Jane shoes. She fixed my hair and makeup. I really did look quite good. Slutty, but fun.

Then she had me write a note that said: “My Mistress will allow me an orgasm if you will unlock me. I can give you a BJ. Will you please help?” She pinned this to my dress along with the key to my chastity lock. She was clear that I was not to touch the key for any reason.

Then she got ready. Soon she walked me from our hotel room, through the public hallways, to the private party area. There she allowed me to interact with people and to plead my case. At first I was really embarrassed and hesitant to approach anyone. The first few men read my note and actually laughed about it. They all declined.

We moved to another area, and I got a little more comfortable talking to people. However, man after man still turned me down, most of them laughing at my predicament. Some lifted the front of my dress to see my chastity device and lock for themselves. The evening went on and it seemed that I was not going to get unlocked. My wife was clear that she was ok with that outcome.

In the quiet dungeon we met a friend from our town who was also attending. She introduced us to her fiance, who was also dressed up pretty. Although we had not met before, it was clear that he was her submissive, so I asked her permission to offer my note to him. She agreed, he read it, and I gave them some time to discuss it. I sat next to my wife to wait for their decision. Soon our friend motioned me over and told me they would be glad to help.

For some reason this wasn’t quite the joyous moment I expected. I had been so focused on finding someone to unlock me that I had forgotten my part of the bargain. Now I had to suck this man’s cock! And not just that, but in front of my wife, in front of his Mistress, and in front of the other people in the dungeon.

Keeping the end of my penile captivity and my pending orgasm in mind, I knelt in front of this man I had just met. He lifted his skirt and revealed his cock to me. His Mistress handed me (!) a condom, which I carefully applied to his erection. I looked back at my wife, and she gave me a look that said “Well, what are you waiting for?”

I leaned forward and took his cock in my mouth. Although it wasn’t the first time my wife had put me in a position to suck a man’s cock, it had been years and it felt all new again. I worked him with my lips and mouth and tongue, and listened to his responses to help me gauge what he liked. Soon I became aware of his Mistress complementing my wife about what a good cocksucker I was, and how they both really seem to be enjoying it. But mostly I wasn’t aware of anyone or anything around me, as I was focused on pleasing his penis until it came so that I would get to cum.

Fortunately he didn’t last long, and his orgasm was clear to everyone. Once he finished I laid my head on his thigh, looked at his cum in the end of the condom, and thought happily to myself “I did it!” Both women commented that I seemed to be quite a slut, and that it looked like I really enjoyed sucking cock. This made me blush and, still on my knees, I acknowledged them both with a “Yes, Ma’am”.

I finally looked around, and it seemed to me that there were a few more people than before in the dungeon. My wife picked up on this and told me that “everyone” was watching me be a little cock whore. I didn’t care, it didn’t feel wrong to me, although I still felt somewhat embarrassed. I also felt somewhat fulfilled — that I had accomplished something and that I had pleased my wife. In hindsight I realize that she must have really enjoyed the entire evening of humiliation that she set up for me and made me endure.

And yes, an hour or so later back in our hotel room, she gave me a most wonderful orgasm.

[Via http://lockedhubby.wordpress.com]

These balls are made for busting...

gotballs, originally uploaded by funhunter44.

I recently watched some YouTube videos of guys playing Nut Ball, which reignited a strange fascination I have with ballbusting. Now let me clarify, I’m not interested in seeing or participating in a scene where anyone takes such a severe blow that they fracture a testicle or risk losing the ability to procreate. Having made that clarification, I do find something intriguing about the fact that regardless of how powerful and formidable a man might be, all men have the same “Achilles’ heel”. An area of complete vulnerability.

I also find something completely fascinating about guys that can take pain. I’ve often heard it said that there’s a “thin line between pleasure and pain”, and I believe it. As part of masturbation in my early adult life, I experimented with tying up my genitalia and weighting my balls. I must confess that I found it deliciously stimulating, even though it did cause some pain.

Now I’m really interested in finding some like-minded guys with whom I can take the experimentation to a new level. To that end I’ve created a group on Facebook called Male-to-Male Ballbusting. I wanted to create a unique image for the group, so the above photo was the result. It is actually a “mash-up” of 4 different photos that I stitched together using Adobe Photoshop Elements. I started with a model on a chair, then added a different facial expression, then put the target on his underwear, and finally, added the guy ready to kick the guy’s “man berries”. It was fun to make….I love a creative project!

[Via http://bearhunterfl.wordpress.com]

Random Erotica

Many people hardly anyone nobody asks VISIONS how it goes about its business of picking such marvelously erotic photos. While the Visions’s algorithm is largely a proprietary secret, we can give a few details. We use the explore feature on Flickr and then use our secret set of tags to run a search. With our giant server farm we can process the entire Flickr database of photos in just less than a nanosecond (although we intentionally delay the process to allow us to sip or lattes and eat our scones.

Here are a few random selections Visions culled during its last pass through through the four billion Flickr photos:

Chains – Pink on White – Elf Amazon – High Heels – Twisted — Red Boots — Lower Level – Bleeding Love – Stumped — Reflections — Topsy Turvy – Front or Back? — Sofa Siren — Red Tape — Furry — HTML — Best Buds – Redheads — Smoke — Engaged – Against a Wall

,

By Manu2560 — creative commons

Read all of VISIONS

[Via http://cliffmichaels.wordpress.com]

Identifying my unease

There are many reasons for the sense of unease that floods in once the euphoria of handing over another level of control or exploring something new has worn off. I am very sensitive to mood shifts, so a high automatically comes with a corresponding low. We can usually plan ahead for these and do what we can to mitigate it. Other times it’s due to the childhood mindfucks I received, and all I can do is let go and let my Master catch me. Last night, we were able to articulate the last source of unease.

When we started this journey six months ago, it was under my suggestion. My husband is the best Master I could ever ask for, but it is not a role that comes naturally to him and he’s fighting a tremendous amount of societal conditioning to be the Master I need and he wants to be. We move very slowly, especially since he crossed a line which was actually harder on him than it was on me. As a consequence, each new step into BDSM requires me topping from the bottom.

I am a sub who is rapidly realizing that she is more slave than anything. Directing my Master to do things to me or to speak to me in a specific way is unsettling. We can kind of ignore the fact that I’m pulling the strings by phrasing things in a certain way, but we both know what’s really happening. This does cause a bit of distress for me and makes me question if I’m pushing him into things; that he is dominating me because it’s what I want/need, not because it matches up with his own desires. Nothing could be further from the truth – each new level of play awakens more desires in my Master and once he finds where the edges are he comes into his own (does he ever come into his own *swoon*).

Many times we are thinking the same thing but I’m reluctant to say/ask for it being in sub-mode and he’s reluctant for fear of crossing a line. He was fucking my throat the other night and while I was happily being choked by his cock in my mouth, all I could think about was being his cum bucket (a sentiment the me of six months ago would have cringed at in disgust). I wanted to hear him call me that as he was praising me for the throat fucking. To hear my Master croon, “Are you so greedy for my cock, little girl? Do you want to be my cum bucket so badly?” as he caressed my cheek would have pushed me over the edge with delight. Even now I’m shivering just thinking about it. With some difficulty, I told him of this desire last night and he confessed that he wanted to do it in the moment as well but was afraid of crossing a line.

We are in the process of remapping my limits. In the beginning, I wanted no part in being objectified. Now, I practically beg him to call me his fuck toy, his pet. Begging was something I was sort of meh about – now I feel like its the hottest thing he can require of me. Orgasm denial? Never in a million years. Now I’m into my second day and am loving every minute of it. Being choked by his cock and cum? He cannot use me in the fashion enough – the joy and pride I feel at making him cum like this is incredible.

I’m thinking that it shouldn’t be too long before I can retreat back to the fuck toy I so long to be and he can just be my Master. I am a lucky girl, indeed.

[Via http://2ndhoneymoon.wordpress.com]

I've got a new term to identify with!

The past weeks (with all the events with India-girl and my first suspension experience) really made me think about how I experience bdsm at the moment, and what kind of submissive I am. When I started with bdsm I identified as a submissive, which meant for me that I liked the whole spectrum of BDSM, and that I was always a bit subservient to my dominant. I never really aimed at TPE or 24/7, but I liked some kind of a ongoing powerrelation, however light at times.

After the rape, and after I decided (first subconsciously and later consciously) that for now I only want to submit by choice of that moment, I started to identify more as a bottom. I wanted pain and bondage and other play things, but no power exchange outside of a scene. Instead of something deeply felt inside, the dom/sub-mindset became more of a roleplay.

I never saw myself as a bratty sub. I tend to do what I am told, and be completely happy with that, and won’t directly disobey orders (except when they go over my boundaries of that time, of course). However, I do make witty comments, push my dominant a little by teasing or tickling. Also, I tend to whine when ‘mean stuff’ is being done to me. I like the mean stuff of course, else I would not participate, but feeling sorry for myself, pouting a bit and being teased with that is a kind of ‘roleplay’ that really works for me at the moment. I fall into this behaviour almost automatically, and feels it very comfortable, fitting and nice.

When talking with Dancer (a friend of mine, who is quite into bondage, and into dancing) on the evening of my first suspension, he mentioned the term SAM: Smart Ass Masochist. Although I like pain, and I am a masochist, this is not a term that I use to label myself, the term did not fit completely. Suddenly all things fell into place, and a new term was born: SAB, Smart Ass Bottom. And it fits like a glove. Or a tight, restraining rope-harness

[Via http://nuclearrainbow.wordpress.com]

Teasing

One of the things I do very well is teasing. And I use the teasing in part to have him divulge his ideas. Whether anything comes of it is totally under my control. And most certainly some things are in the be careful what you wish for category. It has happened that things were moving faster than he had thought up the idea. Plus of course this is new material to be used in teasing sessions.

As you are aware our kink life has been put a little on the back burner. Sure we have been doing the odd thing in shopping and a hairdressers appointment will be coming up this month. So it is not like it is flat on it’s back. However it is not in the gear where we both feel we’d like it to be. So our main focus has been what is for us relatively low key play. Both to keep the power exchange dynamic going and to have some much needed fun in a stress full time.

Over the last few weeks/months the boy has told me in several ways where is fantasy is taking him. He uses his blog, pictures/weblinks and discussions as they arise. Some of these fantasies I can implement quite easily, even now. For instance buying a mini bikini after some teasing and some mild Oh please can I begging. Truth be told I loved the idea. Just had him buy a different bottom than his original idea, because I liked it better. Other things will have to wait a bit more due life interferences. Both the boy and I are looking forward to the time when I can start pushing his boundaries more again. Until then, we just have to have discussions about his be-careful-what-you-wish-for list. The list that is an effective tool in teasing and for me to take his some of his fantasies and make them into my wicked playground.

To make a point here though. Quite a few ideas in our minds are of the same making. We are well matched in that kink area so the line what is his imagination and mine is blurred. It is not as if his fantasies are what is guiding me. I sure use them. I mean seriously if I find them attractive and the suit me, why reinvent the wheel? I make them mine. I doubt that they ever work out the way he had imagined them. There is always my sauce added for additional spice and flavour .

[Via http://shadowladynl.wordpress.com]