M/s versus D/s

I got an explanation of the difference between a Master/slave relationship and a Dominant/submissive relationship today. It was an eye opening experience. In a D/s relationship it truly is the sub who is in charge of things. There are hard limits, soft limits, contracts  and safe words. A friend of mine actually had these words said to him by a sub looking to him to be her Dom…

“As Your sub, I trust that You won’t leave permanent marks or even non-permanent ones in places where they might be seen, or, actually any marks anywhere, unless I pre-approve the type of mark and precise location; I trust that You will take me to sub-space and then gently, gingerly, lovingly guide me back down and give me warm, soft, sensual after-care until I’m back from my blissful abyss; I trust that You will be weary of my red zones, be knowledgeable of my hot spots and will learn my body, inside and out, so as to better permit me to cum like a screaming banshee…like any good sub should.”

How incredibly selfish. There is no give and take in this kind of relationship. It is solely about the sub and her needs. I can’t pursue a relationship like this. It just isn’t in me to be this selfish. Yes of course I enjoy an orgasm just as much as the next girl, but it is far more than that for me. There is a give and take, a sweet dance of surrender that plays through a good relationship.

I spent some time mulling over the above and changed it to reflect my own thoughts.  Part of the letting go for me is opening up myself completely. More like an “As Your slave, i trust that You will do as You see fit to my body because that is Your right as my Master. i trust that should You choose to, You will throw me over the edge into subspace, but that You will make me sit up and take a drink when i need to. i trust that You will find my limits if i have them and push them to the extreme. i trust that if You break me, You had a reason even if it was just to see if You could do it.” I had thought that I was submissive, but this is not so.

I am a slave to my Master.

Waiting For Release

Submission

I haven’t had the time to really sit down and focus on writing, so I’m cribbing a post from a message board on what submission means to me.

I know I’ve always had a submissive nature, although most would never guess at it. If someone was needed to take charge of a situation, I would be that person although I really disliked being in that position and it takes a lot out of me emotionally. I have always taken care of my husband – done all those little things to show him how I love him like make his favorite foods and serve him his meals. There has always been an element of resentment involved in those tasks though, since I felt he was taking me for granted and I was not being taken care of in kind.

Since falling head-first into BDSM with my husband a month or so ago, I would say my submission is like that exercise where you cross your arms on your chest and fall backwards, trusting that he will be there to catch me and since I’ve been able to do that with my mind, body and soul our entire marriage is so different now. A request or even a gentle command to get him a drink or make a small meal would have garnered him a “Are you fucking kidding me?” look – now I practically skip off to do whatever he has asked of me and will smile shyly as I bring it to him. He is so much more aware of my needs – when I am feeling overwhelmed by my responsibilities he can center me in a way I never dreamed possible. I can actually tell him what’s going on inside my head rather than fester with resentment that he can’t see how much I need some TLC.

I am better at handling our finances and taking care of household management – there is no reason for me to turn over these tasks to him because it’s more of a dominant’s job to be in charge of money. He is better at organizing and household chores than I am – again me performing those traditional submissive acts would not benefit our marriage/relationship in the least. There are many situations where I take the dominant role and it would be detrimental to all for him to take over those tasks. We respect each other, but there is no way he’s going to punish me for snapping at him because I’m in a bad mood. Will he talk to me about it afterwards and try to figure out why I’m in a bad mood and what he can do to help me? – a definite “Yes”. I am most definitely his girl, and on many occasions will defer to him or seek reassurance that I am pleasing him but we have no interest in maintaining that 24/7 – it’s much more satisfying to us when it happens organically.

While I’ve always tried to make him happy and serve him, my submission involves taking down those last couple of walls and presenting him with my naked self – and he treasures me for it and views it as the incredible gift that it is.

Perversity, Bio-politics, Commune

Event description from the presenter:

“What’s better than sitting on fetlife uploading photo’s of your freshly blackened ass.
Miss filth and glitter holding the cane that bruises your pretty cheeks.

Come out to UWMilwaukee room 344 this October 30th at 7pm for a night of mischief, BDSM, queers, theory, and orgies. Miss. F&G will talk on renewed considerations for BDSM and Queerness as a form of bio-political resistance, and the use of orgies and play parties to build stronger friendships.

Don’t forget you safe word”

(A safe word is a word other than no that used in BDSM to tell someone to stop. Notice the whipped Jesus on the flier.  He must have forgotten his. And Fetlife is a social networking website for people who are into fetish and BDSM.)

Vera Vision Sneak Peek--Lickin' the Alphabet

When my girlfriend told me she wanted to do something regarding the alphabet tonight, I honestly thought she meant soup. I didn’t think she meant licking my pussy.

Our sex life has been good. I can’t say it’s been plain and boring because that’s not how we roll. I guess for a lesbian couple, we do the typical things: sex toys and lots of licking. I guess for a typical couple, we average 2-3 times a week for sex. Yeah, we’re plain Janes. It’s not that we don’t get crazy and freaky, because that happens too. I guess it doesn’t happen as often as I would like. I’m more BDSM and Yvette, my girlfriend, well, she’s more Vanilla. But then one night she surprised me by bringing the freak out. And I have to admit, I had never been more turned on.

She called me at work and wanted to know what I wanted for dinner. After going back and forth for a while on a final choice, Yvette then said the key phrase: I have something special in store tonight for you, baby. Now like I said, Yvette is more Vanilla so when she mentioned something special, I’m thinking cheesecake bites or a massage. I was not thinking bondage and licking me until I faint.

you Reap What you Sow

It’s been a super busy week for Unique Goddess and She’s loving every minute of it!  From being pampered by Her silly slut to giving Her pathetic maid a sadistic electrotherapy session as some good ole fashioned negative reinforcement, it’s been a fantastically awesome week!

The Goddess knows you miss Her exquisitely eloquent words; hang in there, The Goddess will have more time to write once She settles in Her new home.  Soon She will be busy moving, so make sure you bumbling lackeys do your part to make Her transition go as smoothly as possible.  For some of you, this means rolling up those sleeves to not only move furniture and boxes, but also getting things set up and in order at the new spot.

Remember, those who put in the hard work, reap the rewards.  A slut appreciates being on it’s knees sucking The Goddess’ cock oh so much more when it’s been earned through hard work and dedication on it’s knees scrubbing Her floors.  Now get to work flunkey whores!

–
Sweetly Sadistic,
Unique Goddess
www.UniqueGoddess.com

Sensual, Sadistic, Surreal
Have you had The Unique Experience?

Sometimes you just gotta grab life by the balls and give a good strong tug!

Service Book of Days 10/19/09

Outside my window… (weather, what do you hear, what do you see?) it is a little brisk on my side of the world today. We’ve had weather that was 14 degrees below normal for this time of year.
my thoughts…are about trying to regain my equilibrium in regards to my slavery. So I have decided to meditate and focus on my commitment to Master Void.

Today’s Quote…When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer ‘Present’ or ‘Not guilty.’ Theodore Roosevelt (1858 – 1919)

That was just funny…lol Hey not all quotes have to be meaningful in a serious way. Life is not really that serious all the time.

i am thankful for…always my family, all my moments – good and bad. I know I keep saying this but these are the things that I am most thankful for…everything else is just gravy, as the saying goes.

From my service training…(any skills, training etc; notes you want to share this week) I am learning quick but nutritious meals for the kids and getting them into good habits of nutrition. It is never too late to learn some good habits.

Also, I am going to start working again with my belly dancing DVD. Master loves sensual dance so this will be something worthwhile for me to learn. Exploring my sensual self.

From the kitchen…(menu for the week, what are you cooking?) I am learning that it is not just about cooking the food but creating comfort. A meal that is served well means just as much as the preparation.

i am wearing…my workout clothes. Trying to stay true to my health and fitness goals set by Master.

i am creating…(crafts, sewing etc;) nothing new at the moment. But I think I want to create something. Just not sure what yet.

my adventures this week…(where are you going this week?) Continuing to repair my house for selling.

Becoming well read…(What are you reading this week?)…Nothing this week. I am going to search for another good book on surrendering and slavery. Master recommended “Leathersex: A Guide for the Curious Outsider and the Serious Player”, by Joseph Bean and Mrs Beeton’s Book of Household Management (Oxford World’s Classics)

i manifest and co-create…(what are your hopes, dreams, and prayers this week) Peace and tranquility in my house and with my children. I pray for the people around us to not take their life for granted. Incidentally, the phrase “peace and tranquility” is Master’s new signoff tagline.

Todays Melody..(what music are you listening to? even if it’s just the sound of a bird…)  No melodies today…just quiet.

One of my favorite things…I am relearning my love for cooking.  For creating my own meals.
further plans for this week…housecleaning/clearing. Continuing my workout plan. Fixing up my house.

Still….life (share a picture you’ve taken OR a picture you found online that speaks to you)
Fractal.  I love saying that word.  It’s a fun word to say.

A fractal is “a rough or fragmented geometric shape that can be split into parts, each of which is (at least approximately) a reduced-size copy of the whole,”[1] a property called self-similarity

=============
Here are the directions for this post if you are interested in starting your own:
Once a week on Monday you will respond to the above prompts.. more is better. Post your response on your blog or website.
Mention my blog and offer a link back to the main page of my blog. This way others can participate in the project as well! http://servicesavoirfaire.blogspot.com/

James' Transformation Begins

His name is James.  He is an undergrad psychology student in the class I am teaching/assisting with this semester.  From the first day of school, he caught my eye.   It wasn’t merely about his looks…in fact, his physical presence would probably border on nondescript.   He is clean-cut, with short dark blond hair, blue eyes.  Not overly built, but not too thin.   Something about him exuded…vulnerability.  Not necessarily wimpy-ness…not that at all, actually.  But a need to let go of something or bring more of something to him.   Maybe it was in the soft-spoken but slightly intense way he spoke when participating in class discussions, or the thoughtful far away look in his clear blue eyes during the lecture on “theories of behavioral change”.  I felt as though he wanted to say something more…something personal even, but backed down at the last minute during class time.

Last week I led a study group and James was one of the several students who showed up.  We spent a good two hours in the student lounge after the group broke apart talking about everything and anything:  Classes that sucked.  Classes that rocked.  Healthcare reform.  The movie “Jennifer’s Body”.   What makes a movie a cult classic. Feminism.  The insect as a symbol of the human condition in Kafka’s “Metamorphosis”.  Same sex marriage.  Then we stopped for drinks at a popular hangout near the university.   And James really opened up to me.

At one point while we were sitting in our booth enjoying our beverages and talking up a storm, I pulled out my compact and vial of Bobbi Brown lip gloss for a quick touch-up.  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see James watching intently, almost as if transfixed,  as I dipped the applicator into the merlot colored gloss, then dabbing it to my lips.  The look on his face was a mixture of longing and wistfulness.

“That’s a very pretty shade,” he said softly.

“Why, thank you, I smiled knowingly at him.

In that moment, I knew.  James’ longing was embedded in a desire to experience the feminine from within.

The bar was fairly quiet and empty that night, as it was a Wednesday.  I leaned over and whispered to James, “Come with me.”

I led him into the ladies restroom.  No one was around.  He looked slightly perplexed for a moment, but nonetheless he didn’t hesitate and followed me right inside.  I locked the door and took his hand in mine and positioned him directly in front of the mirror.

“You have so much potential, James, ” I said softly, smiling at his reflection.

I reached back into my purse and took out the lip gloss.  Next, I placed my hand underneath his chin and held his face inches from mine, looking very closely at his face and into his eyes.  That longing was still there, only it had deepened in the last several minutes.  He didn’t question.  He didn’t protest.  He simply surrendered.  This was an inevitable moment in James’ life.

“Do you trust me?” I asked him.

“Absolutely,” he replied.

As I painted his beautiful mouth with my lipstick, I could feel his whole body sigh.  He didn’t need to make a sound.  The truth in that moment filled every part of his being.  And I was actually quite honored to be the one to create this moment for him.

“Now look…” I turned him gently to face his reflection in the mirror.  “That makes so much more sense, doesn’t it, James?”

“Oh wow…Mina…yes, it so makes sense,” his eyes lit up as he took in his reflection.

Transformation needn’t be a majorly overt event to be significant.  Often, its in making the tiniest steps when one can feel the pull toward something greater to come.

Afterward, I kissed James on the cheek and gave him my lip gloss.

“Wear it to bed tonight for me,” I placed the vial into his hand.  “I promise you, this is only the beginning”.

The season of transformations is upon us.  October brings us vivid, cool days as Mother Earth changes her appearance from one of abundant lush and suppleness to jeweled tones of the coming bounty.  Halloween is just a few weeks away and now is the time to think about the masks you wear in your daily life.  Are you being true to yourself?  Perhaps you need the assistance of a Kink Artist to aid you in determining how to put your best face forward.  Strip away the mask for a day and allow me to transform you into the character you have always longed to be.

Kink Artist Extraordinaire

1-888-662-6482

Yahoo/Twitter/AIM: kinkyfunmina